July 8th, 2020
My head hurts so bad and anxiety has been shaking me all week ;; Terribly sleepy all day, not sure why. I'm trying to lighten up, I had a major breakdown recently and life has been weighing on me, I try to look at the positives for everything but it's been so difficult to do as of late- like what the hell. The only thing I can think of is "well hey, nothing matters so I can do whatever I want without care becvause I'm just gonna die in the end anyways, so lemme do some crazy stuff that makes me happy because I can".... And yeah that's cool, that's fine.... But then I remeber that anyone can take what I make, what I like, how I am, and either laugh at t or harass me for it- and that's troubling. I am a crybaby bitch at heart, man. I really can't handle insults thrown my way or any forms of pressure, that is one of my main flaws and aone outta many I am trying to work on.